RANDOMNESS

SO TODAY STARTED WELL..YOSIYAH WOKE ME UP ASUAL WITH A KISS AND A SMAKE ON THE STOMACH FOLLOWED BY MAMA.. HE'S MY ALARM CLOCK THAT NEVER FAILS LOL..HE'S BEEN SPEAKING ALOT OF SPANISH MORE THEN ENGLISH SO I BEEN TRYING TO SPEAK TO HIM MORE IN ENGLISH..BUT HE LOOKS AT ME ALL THE TIME WITH A CONFUSSED LOOK UNTIL I TELL HIM IN SPANISH...SO ITS HARD NOT TO SPEAK TO HIM IN SPANISH..ANYWAYS SO WE WERE LEAVING HE GRABS THE DIAPER BAG AND TELLS ME MAMA VAMOS LOL WAS THE CUTTEST THING...WELL SO IM MOVING INTO A BIGGER PLACE EXCITED TO HAVE A BIGGER PLACE FOR THE BABY BUT KIND OF NERVOUS I STILL AM NOT USE TO BEING HOME ALONE AND STILL GET SCARED AND LONELY.. BUT IM EXCITED.. AND MAYBE IN LESS THEN A YEAR IT WILL BE PERFECT HAHA.. I CAN'T WAIT.. IM ALSO EXCITED FOR SUNDAY.. IT WILL BE THE FIRST TIME SINCE YOSIYAH BLESSING THAT I ATTEND CHURCH.. BEFORE THAT IT WAS ALMOST 2 YEARS.. I HAVE BEEN PUSHING IT OFF BECAUSE WHEN I HAD YOSIYAH BLESSED IT WAS HONESTLY THE WORST FEELING I HAVE EVER FELT.. IT SEEMED TO ME MANY THAT I LOVED AND CARED FOR WERE SHUTTING ME OUT.. BUT I DID NOT LET THAT BE A REASON TO DENY MY SON A BLESSING..THEN AFTER A MAN THAT RAISED ME PRETTY MUCH MADE ME FEEL HE WORST WHEN HE SEEN ME VISIT A FREIND AND I RAN INTO HIM THERE..SO SINCE THEN I JUST FELT LIKE WHY BOTHER..I HAVNT PRAYED BECAUSE I FEEL UNWORTHY TO SINCE I DO NOT ATTEND.. I DO NOT DENY MY LORD AND WILL NEVER.. I STILL BELEAVE AND KNOW THE CHURCH IS WHAT ALWAYS BROUGHT ME GREAT HAPPINESS..BUT I HAVE DECIDED THAT I NEED TO GO BACK.. THE OPINION OF OTHERS SHOULD NOT BE A REASON TO DENY MYSELF AND MY SON A LIFE WITH OUR HEAVENLY FATHER..SO I AM EXCITED TO RETURN.. EVER SINCE VISITING THE SALT LAKE TEMPLE I KNOW THATS WHERE I WANT TO BE MARRIED AND SEALED TO MY FAMILY..I KNOW YOSIYAH WILL NOT LIKE NURSURY HE'S A SHY BABY SO THAT WILL HAVE TO BE WORKED ON BUT I KNOW THAT IN THE END HE WILL LOVE IT..